H1N1 's Got Nothin on Accidentally Shooting Yourself

I will not be getting the H1N1 vaccine.

I don't consider myself a conspiracy theorist, but I get the feeling some pharmaceutical company is making a killing off of the 250 million doses the U.S. Government just snapped up (if you're interested, the manufacturers of the H1N1 vaccine are Sanofi Pasteur, Novartis, MedImmune and CSL Limited).

Despite a giant lapse in vaccination upkeep in my lifetime, I've never contracted SARS, Mad Cow, or the Avian Flu. I have never been poisoned by Anthrax or accidentally eaten a stray chicken tumor at Jack-in-the-Box. In fact, I've never had food poisoning (but I also refuse to eat at restaurants sporting "B" grades in the windows).

I did have the Chicken Pox once. I've had Strep a couple times. I somehow developed Scarlitinia and mild Scarlet Fever at the same time. I even had Pityriasis once, which was totally strange. So it's not as if my immune system is superhuman. I just never bought into the Scary Disease of the Year hype.

Government health officials say the Swine Flu has killed some 4,000 people in the United States since April, including 540 kids.

Yes, that's a lot of people, and please don't think I'm making light of the matter. But for comparison's sake, here are some other fun facts to consider before going postal on your local CVS for running out of The Shot:

In the same 7 months...

16,916 people in the United States were killed in accidents involving firearms.
19,843 people in the United States were killed in car accidents.
21,000 people in the United States were killed by the Influenza virus (the regular one).
42,261 people in the United States were killed by Diabetes.
253,750 people in the United States were killed by tobbacco.
326,601 people in the United States were killed by Cancer.
368,454 people in the United States were killed by Heart Disease.

Sources: http://drugwarfacts.org/cms/?q=node/30
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/FASTATS/deaths.htm